life-is-learning

8 Reasons I Love my Midwife

2011-12-15T17:33:00.000-08:00

We have chosen to have a homebirth with a Certified Professional Midwife for this baby. CPM's are trained to offer expert care for women and their babies during pregnancy, birth and postpartum. They are guided by the North American Registry of Midwives (NARM) and follow a model of care that includes:

monitoring the physical, psychological and social well-being of the mother throughout the childbearing cycle;
providing the mother with individualized education, counseling and prenatal care,
continuous hands-on assistance during labor and delivery and postpartum support;
minimizing technological interventions; and
identifying and referring women who require obstetrical attention.

The application of this model has been proven to reduce the incidence of birth injury, trauma and cesarean section.1

After a lengthy interview and regular prental appointments, we are confident in our decision and could not be more pleased with our particular midwife and here are some reasons why :)

1.) No Wait
It is really nice to have a pre-natal appointment at 2:30pm, arrive and 2:25pm and walk right in without waiting in a waiting room. This is especially nice if you have other little ones along with you, are not feeling well, etc.

2.) Full Hour Alloted for Appointment
There is no waiting an hour for a 15 minute appointment here! Our midwife allots a full hour to our appointment and does not rush us if we have questions that take longer. She gives us her full attention for the entire appointment. We do the usual weight check, urine check, blood pressure, etc., but when she asks "how have you been feeling?" she takes the time to listen to the answer. She encourages questions and offers support. She takes time to communicate openly and honestly and wants the same from us. She wants to be friends and wants to build a trusting relationship prior to delivery.

3.) She Will be with Us for Labor and Delivery
With my first pregnancy, I went through a lot of trouble to find an OB/GYN that delivered the babies all of the time. I was very reserved and a little frightened and did not want a clinic that rotated several doctors and you would have whomever was on call at the time. I wanted to get to know and trust the person who would ultimately be delivering my baby. As it turns out, in my experience, in hospital labor, the OB/GYN may stop in a few times, but you really end up with a bunch of nurses that you have never seen or met before for the majority of your care. The doctor will swing by when it's time to push, and mine barely did that - but that's a story for another day! *

4.) Relaxing Environment
We meet in our midwife's home, in her living room. Our 3 year old goes with us and is completely happy and comfortable playing with the toys and visiting with everyone. Gumby will get to know our midwife and her team so they will not be strangers for the birth. The relaxing environment is inviting and encourages open dialogue.

5.) No Physical Checks
That's right. No robe; no baring it all; no feet up in stirrups. As our midwife said ... What are they looking for? We all know how the baby got in there and we all know how it's going to get out. Nuff said.

6.) Always Available via Phone
We have our midwife's home and cell phone numbers. She wants us to call with any questions! She'll be the one to talk to us! No extra charge ;)

7.) She Comes with a Staff
I had full intentions of hiring a doula for this birth, but I didn't have to look! Our midwife has one she always works with and we like her. She is at some of the prenatal appointments, available for questions, getting to know her, and the like. Our midwife also has an apprentice she is training who will be available to help out during the birth as well.

8.) Incase of Transfer to Hospital
Plan B. If the homebirth does not work out and we need to transfer to the hospital, our midwife is prepared. She has an OB/GYN who works with her. She calls the hospital ahead to let them know what exactly is going on so when you arrive they are ready and waiting. And, she stays at the hospital to continue her support and advice.

1. http://nacpm.org/what-is-cpm.html

* I am confident this is not always the case; I am merely illustrating my own personal experience.

Wordless Wednesday: We're Having a Baby! :)

2011-08-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

11 Ideas for Integrating Children and Pets

2011-05-02T18:35:00.000-07:00

I have been an animal lover for my entire life. I grew up around a farm and always had cats. Shortly after my husband and I were married, I needed to have some pets in my life. We got a couple of free kittens. Then, he got me the one pet I had always wanted, but never had - a basset hound. My first dog. We learned a lot together. Over the years, my love for dogs resulted in running a non-profit dog rescue. My extremely supportive and tolerant husband, myself and a small handful of volunteers saved over 100 dogs in about five years.

While the dog rescue is much smaller than it used to be, we do have 1 foster and I will put her shameless plug right here. Chloe is a 5 year young beautiful american pit bull terrier who is looking for a family to call her own :)
Our family now includes Chase the basset hound, the only dog ever accquired from a breeder before we learned about the millions of homeless dogs, Gracie a small furry mixed breed rescued from our local dog pound, Jasmine an american pit bull terrier rescued from a life of abuse and neglect, Max a cat who was abandoned on our doorstep when he was a kitten, Felix a cat who was abandoned at the manufacturing plant where I used to work, and most recently Reese and Pete The Cat (we have a Mickey Mouse addiction here), two keepers of the litter of five that was left on our doorstep.

It is important to me that Gumby be involved with the animals and have a positive experience with them and they with her. We want her to know how to effectively communicate and safely interact not only with our own pets but with any others she may encounter.

Here are a few ways that we are getting there:

Gumby holding Elle, one of the kittens from our Fall drop off litter.
Elle was spayed, updated on shots and happily rehomed

1. Supervise, Supervise, Supervise

Animals can be unpredictable. Children can be unpredictable. Never leave them together unsupervised.

2. Gentle Touches

We strive to show and tell Gumby what she *can* do and not concentrate on what not to do. We are very careful with the words we choose and try to set up a successful environment. For petting the animals, when she was small we would always tell her to use "one finger". That is how she petted them for a long time. It's impossible to be rough, smack, or pull anything using just one finger. Now she understands the word "gentle" and uses her whole hand to stroke their fur very gently.

3. Dogs Eat Alone

This one is plain, simple and self explanatory. It is a positively framed statement of how the dogs eat that was told to her daily when it was time to feed the dogs. Now, she will tell anyone simply that "Dogs eat alone." We never said "Do not go near the dogs when they eat", "Do not take their food", or other statements that concentrate on what she is "forbidden" to do or actions she should not take. We do not try to invoke any fear of what happens if one takes food from a dog who doesn't do well with that sort of thing (though we have told her that not all dogs like to share as a reason *why* they eat alone); in fact, we encourage her to watch them eat from a reasonable distance.

4. Only Pick up Toys from the Floor
Gumby loves handing the dogs toys and playing fetch with them. What we needed to help her learn was that once they take the toy, it is their toy. We are always there during play to ensure she is not reaching into their mouths. Accidents, grumpy dogs, whatever the reason, it is simply never a good idea for a child to have their hands in a dogs mouth. Our dogs know a "Give" command and Gumby knows how to use it.

5. Involvement in Training
Training pets is a wonderful way to bond with them, work together with them and to establish rules through fun. Gumby loves giving the dogs and cats treats. The dogs know they are not to take food from her hands and they are to wait until she drops the treat to the ground. We have what I call well behaved beggers. Our dogs beg, but have always only been rewarded for sitting or laying.

Gumby, just over 2 years old, using the hand signal for "Down" and two of her dogs obeying and awaiting their treat!

6. Involvement in Feeding
It is important for the pets to see good things coming from this little, loud, fast, unpredictable creature that moved into their home. As mentioned above, Gumby loves giving the dogs and cats treats. In this house, she cannot take an active part in feeding the dogs just yet because they eat raw meat, but she can and does feed the cats and give the dogs water, treats and special stuffed kongs.

Gumby, age 2, feeding Max and her own kitty some milk.

7. Know your Children, Know your Pets, Know and Respect Their Limits

Nobody knows your child or your pets better than you. If your dog will happily chew a bone on the couch with a toddler sitting on him, great. But, if your dog can get a little grumpy with a bone and your well-meaning playful toddler thinks trying to take things from the mouth of the dog is a fun game for both of them (and maybe with a ball, for example, it is), maybe giving Fido a high value bone when the child is nearby is just something the dog isn't going to handle well. All people and animals have limits. Limits are natural and deserve our respect.

8. Create a Yes Environment

Creating a "Yes" Environment for a child is doing what needs done to ensure success such as baby proofing, putting away items that the little one is not ready for yet or that isn't safe, putting away things that cause the parent to have to say "No" repeatedly, creating unnesseccary tension and stress. This can apply for pets as well. You will note that none of the pictures I will ever post of our dogs has a dog bed. A certain grumpy hound dog does not like to be bothered once he is all curled up and comfy on his dog bed, ie: he growls. A growling dog is giving a warning and sending a message for his need for uninterrupted rest the only way that he knows how. While we talk to Gumby about letting sleeping dogs lie, if you will, there is no need to take unnesseccary risks. When we saw the dogs beds become a problem, we picked them up. If there are toys the dogs treasure or guard, remove them. Anything that could possibly be a point of contention or set anyone up for a mistake should be removed. I am not advocating that the dog's owner not seek to help work on these problems, but I am saying this should be done at a specific training times and not when a little one is possibly going to be interacting with the pet.

9. Pets Need Their Own Space
We didn't throw those dog beds out, however. The dogs can all enjoy them from their own little doggie room. They can go there to sleep, to enjoy special treats such as kongs, or just when they dont want to play and need some quiet time. When they tell us they want quiet time, we put up a baby gate and they can have the rest they need and can return when they are ready.

10. People Need Their Own Space
The pets needing a break from the child seems to go hand in hand with the child needing a break from the pets in this house. Sometimes the dogs are giving too many kisses, sometimes the kittens have attacked our feet just about as many times as we can take, sometimes they just won't play the way Gumby is expecting them too and it upsets her. We let Gumby know that it's okay to "take a break" from the pets. Instead of hitting them, kicking them, swatting at them or doing whatever other behaviors a toddler may do because they are expressing themselves the only way they know how, Gumby knows to ask Mamma or Deeda to move the pets or to take a break from them.

11. Let Everone Know When they are Interacting Properly

Positive feedback goes a long way. When the dogs are playing gently, sitting for treats, laying to be covered with blankets or whatever else, tell them they are being good. Slip them an extra snack. When Gumby is giving out toys, we tell her that makes the dogs happy and they love their toys. When she is touching them gently, we tell her that makes them feel safe. While the dogs are rewarded solely for their behavior, Gumby is given feedback about how her actions are affecting the dogs feelings and well-being to help her see the positive impact that she can have on their lives.

Gumby ensuring everyone is safe, warm and comfortable :)

What have you found useful to integrating your pets with your children? What challenges have you had?

Gardening with Gumby: First Starter Seeds

2011-04-22T04:22:00.000-07:00

I am finally getting around to posting pictures of our seeds that we have started for the garden! We are having a lot of fun with this project. We haven't had a garden for several years and are looking forward to it now that I will have more time because I stay home with Gumby. This is also something we think she will enjoy and we are sure she will learn a lot.
We have never started any garden veggies from seeds before, ever. This, like anything else in life, is a learning experience for the whole family.

We went to a couple of stores and let Gumby pick out the seeds herself. She had a lot of fun doing this. It gives her ownership on the project and lets her know she is a contributing member of the family. We didn't worry about the few things she picked out that we don't really care for - we're going to grow them and try them and let her try them. We try not to limit her tastes and preferences because of our own. She was so excited.

We also picked some neat looking plants such as the Carnival Peppers (purple, white, yellow, orange) and Chili Peppers.

To start the plants, we got a couple of those seed starting kits with the pods. They are cute and Gumby had fun investigating the pods while they were little dry disks. We all enjoyed pouring warm water on them and watching them expand.

We started planting around the end of March and did maybe 18 plants each evening once every few days or a week. It was the right amount of time that Gumby would enjoy planting before getting bored.

Choosing a spot to place the next two pepper seeds.

Carefully placing 2 pepper seeds.

Covering the seeds.

What we have so far: Eggplant (which has mostly died :( by the time I am writing this), Celery (tiny, TINY seeds so we have way more than the suggested 2-4 per pod), Carnival Peppers, Tomatoes and Cayenne Peppers.

The first thing we planted was celery and this is how it looked as it started to come up.
Gumby likes checking in on the plants and seeing their progress :)

This is how the seedlings are coming along today.

The first column on the left are the tomatoes.
The next 4 and a half are the 2 types of peppers. You'll notice they have tan soil. Peppers took the longest by far to come up. And, before they sprouted, the pods were encased in this fuzzy white stuff I had never seen before. Thanks to the internet, I learned it was called "dampening off" and is a fungus that grows if the pods are too moist from having the lid on, etc. I found a few natural remedies that did the trick: a strong batch of chamomile tea and cinammon, which not only gave it the tan color and got rid of the fungus, but it made it smell great too! The fungus is mostly harmless as long as it doesn't overtake the seedlings. And, as a side note to "getting rid" of it, I don't think you ever really get rid of it once it's there (bummer), but you can easily control it.
The next 2 and a half are what remains of the eggplants :( I don't know what went wrong here. They came up just fine. You'll notice a couple of the pods are missing. I gave them to my mom. I think hers are still doing okay.
The final 4 rows are the celery which seem to be doing okay. I should probably thin them out. Mom got 2 of these also.

In exchange, Mom gave me 2 wonderful little basil starts with a clever plant marker made with a plastic spoon and marker :) My mom is clever like that :)

As shown below, Gumby is having a rockin' good time with the family garden! :)
I can't wait until we give her a garden sensory box ... but that is a post for another day! :)

Are you starting a garden? What did you plant?
Do you have any tips for involving toddlers?

Wordless Wednesday: Learning Literacy with a Pit Bull

2011-04-13T04:46:00.000-07:00

Ten Reasons I Choose to Nurse My Toddler...

2011-04-10T06:15:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant, it seemed like everyone wanted to know if I was going to nurse and then for how long. I don't think I even knew humans breastfed prior to becoming pregnant; I had never seen it, but for some reason, my answer to the questions was always "Yes, I'm going to give breastfeeding a try for at least six months and then it depends on how it goes after the baby gets teeth." For some reason, I was doubtful and kept those free formula samples in the cupboard "just incase" (never did use them). I had read about the risks of feeding babies with formula and I knew I wanted to give breastfeeding a try. What I didn't know was about the amazing aspects of a nursing relationship *other* than food. We have blown past 6 months, 12 months and 24 months. I definitely didn't plan on extended nursing, but why stop a good thing? We will wean when she is ready. Gumby still nurses very often and we both absolutely love our special time together.

For 10 reasons why extended nursing is important to us, head over to my guest post on one of my favorite blogs Code Name: Mama! :)

Wordless Wednesday: Day 5 - Dear Robert, Come Home Faaaaassstttt ....

2011-03-16T01:00:00.000-07:00

Day 3: Good Luck on Your First Day!

2011-03-14T01:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Robert,

Good Luck on your first day on the job. We hope it goes smoothly for you; we know you will do great and be effective as you care so much about everything you do. You are determined, hardworking and intelligent.

We miss you, love you and are eagerly awaiting your safe return!

Day 2: Thank you for your Support

2011-03-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Robert,

You always support me, my hobbies, my passions.
Even when they sound crazy ...

Me: Lets become vegetarians!
You: I hope this is a phase.
... haha ... okay, so that one took a little getting used to, but even before you converted you were so supportive :)
Me: Lets start a dog rescue and house 12'ish dogs all the time!
You: Okay, we will be saving lives.

Me: Lets feed our dogs raw meat!
You: Lets do it!
Me: What if we un/homeschool?
You: Sure, I think you'll be good at it.

Me: What if we have our next baby at home?
You: Sounds great!

Me: Want to clean up (and my "clean up", I mean purge the closets!)?
You: At 11pm?!
Me: Yes.
You: Okay.

I can't tell you how much your continual support and faith mean to me and our family.

We are thinking about you, missing you, loving you and anxiously awaiting your safe return.

Day 1: Missing You Already

2011-03-12T10:41:00.000-08:00

Dear Robert,

I love you my Dearest Robert. I know you don't want to be there, but that you choose to be there so that I can choose to be here: home, every day taking care of our precious little angel. We thank you and appreciate your hard work and dedication. We are thinking of you, love you and anxiously await your safe return.

Stop Calling Children "Drama Queens"

2011-03-09T05:52:00.000-08:00

Two toddlers are running around at the playground, turn a corner and run right into each other. The force knocks each of them to the ground. As one toddler's parent asks the little one if she is okay from the fall, the other toddler's parent rolls his eyes, chuckles and tells her not to be such a "drama queen". The kids get up and continue playing. You wouldn't be able to tell which child had which discussion, at least not on the surface. While one child feels respected, validated and that her feelings matter, the other one doesn't bother to show any feelings because they will not be taken seriously anyway.

The sidewalks are crowded and icy. While one adult is rushing to get home from a long days work, another is engulfed in their cell phone while waiting for a cab. The person in a hurry turns quickly and bumps into the other adult, knocking them down. The fallen adult shrieks in pain and and grabs his ankle. Is he a "drama queen" also?

There are a lot of situations that are similar that happen to adults and children. Adults are almost always taken seriously, but it seems that children rarely are. Their reactions and emotions are often made trivial by surrounding adults. But, they are not trivial and each interaction teaches the children something far bigger that what is seen on the surface.

An Unfinished Brain

Humans are born with a very immature brain; it is only 25% of the final adult brain size.

90% of the growth of the human brain occurs in the first five years of life.¹ The lower part of the brain is emotional, triggering strong emotions. The higher part of the brain, the last part of the brain to develop, is in charge of reasoning, empathy and keeping the strong emotions in check. The higher part of the brain continues to develop in the teenage years and even into the early 20s!² Children are not setting out to be "excessivly emotional" as Merriam Webster defines a "Drama Queen". "Drama queen" emotions and reactions in children are simply an example of the higher part of the brain not being developed enough to calm and control the impulses of the lower brain.

They are simply being children who have the same needs of love, empathy and understanding as the rest of us adults.

During the first five years of a child's life, the higher brain is forming a huge amount of connections between its cells. These connections affect how the child will function socially and emotionally.³ The base of these connections rely very heavily on what the child is exposed to, reactions they experience, words that are said to them. When children are exposed to bullying at a young age, the brain structures and chemical systems in their brain actually change.⁴ It is vitally important not to mock or bully a child.

Minimizing Feelings & A Blow to Self-Esteem

When a child is called things such as "drama queen" and their feelings are not taken seriously, they may start to feel they do not deserve to be taken seriously. If those around them are telling them they are insignificant, then they believe that they are insignificant. They slowly start believing that what they say or feel really doesn't matter. They may hide their feelings or loose their self respect leaving them even more vulnerable to bullies, drugs etc. The last thing a parent wants is a child afraid to be honest or express themselves openly in the parent-child relationship.

Shaming & a Fear of Vulnerability

Children learn by example. What example does it set for a child on how to treat someone in a time of upset if when they are upset, they are not taken seriously, validated or shown empathy, but instead shamed? Shame is an intense and painful feeling. One way to protect oneself from shame is to put up a shield against ones own vulnerability. Any weaknesses are hidden so that no one can cause the child to feel shame. Children learn that pointing out another's vulnerability, they can protect their own. They may try to rid themselves of their shame by projecting it onto others and become a bully.

Namecalling & Labelling are Self Fullfilling Prophecies

Children naturally look to adults for direction and information and internalize things said to or about them. Namecalling and labelling are self fullfilling prophecies. If a child is constantly called or labelled as something, then that becomes true to them and they actually will strive to fit the label. Maybe the fall doesn't hurt, but the child knows they are a "drama queen", so they know they need to yell and scream and make an excessive commotion, which will result in them being called a "drama queen", and so on.

The Effects of Labelling on the Labeller
Labels such as "drama queens" have a negative connotation. How would your reactions towards someone or a situation change if you thought of someone as "drama queen" versus thinking of them as human beings who have the same needs and feelings as yourself? How would you respond differently? Think about the examples at the beginning of this page. You have convinced yourself that your child is a drama queen. Clearly, when they fall and are upset, you are annoyed because you have already decided this reaction is in excess and only to get a reaction or attention which you have no intention of giving. Later, you see an adult, who you have no pre-conceived notions of, fall. You rush over to see if they are hurt, need help to get up, need a doctor. Perhaps you empathize with them, at their embarrassment of the fall. The two scenarios are similar, but your reactions are polar opposites. The difference is the labels you already had set, or not, in your own mind.

Whether negative comments by adults to and/or about children are meant to be insulting or whether they are said in what is meant to be "good natured fun", there are serious and long term consequences to minimizing childrens' feelings, shaming, namecalling and labelling. Stop doing it!

This post was inspired by an actual event as described in the first paragraph. The other parent went so far as to imply my toddler was also a "drama queen" after the two toddlers collided and Gumby asked for a mooch. The problem is that neither Deeda nor myself are good with confrontations. We said nothing and just ignored the folks, though we both wanted so badly to explain to him what the consequences are of his actions.
What did you think of the post?
What would you have done in the situation?
How could we educate folks should this happen (and we all know it will) in the future?

References:
1, 3, 4. The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland
2. http://www.edinformatics.com/news/teenage_brains.htm

Gumby's World: 2/12/2011-2/28/2011

2011-03-01T06:01:00.000-08:00

The Gumby's World series is a journal of how we spend our days with Gumby :)

Two weeks ago was exciting as we had a glimpse of the spring weather that is soon to come!

It was also exciting because Gumby's vocabulary and thirst for knowledge just continues to swell right in front of our very eyes. She has picked up "Yep!" and "Nope!" from I'm not sure where, but it is so cute. And, she is asking all sorts of questions that she has never asked before. She wants to know where everybody goes and what they are doing. She notices background noises and asks what it is. In the car, when we arrive at our destination she asks "Where you gonna park, mamma?" She is always so inquistive and eager to learn about her environment.

We took advantage of the warm weather and spent lots of time outside.

Gumby couldn't wait to take her love for art back to the outdoors on the front porch with her chalk!

We also spent the better parts of several days out and about!

Gumby has been big into going to the library again. She likes to play the computer games with me. There are a few that she likes to use the mouse or keyboard for, but a lot of them she points or tells me what to click on. There is one where you can play music to put animals to sleep, feed them or play with them and she thinks it's hilarious. Sometimes, the music makes them dance and she yells "Don't do the jig, go to sleep!" :)

The library has these foam fishes that we've been sorting and putting together by color. Over the summer we made choo-choo's out of the fish, as in the photo, but the color sorting was new. She took it very seriously. I think it's important to remember that in the eyes of children, their play is just as serious as any work us adults undertake.

Gumby almost always helps me clean up. It is her choice and she rarely refuses. But, on the times that she does, I am okay with it. Surely, there are times she asks me to do things and I refuse. Autonomy is a basic human need, important to those who are both big and small, old and young. I want her to help me and others, not because of a threat of punishment or consequences nor because of a promise of a reward or bribe, but because she truely wants to, because the motivation comes from within her. For that to be the case, it always has to be her choice, her decision.

We met Deeda for lunch at the park and then stayed to play. Her and Deeda just love being barefoot. They are talking me into it. There is a lot of sensory experiences to be had when your feet are bare which is probably why Gumby and most other children enjoy it so much.

She played on 2 different play grounds, climbed, went down slides and rode this duck. There is also a quarter mile track that surrounds the local highschool football field. I think it's a quarter of a mile all the way around it. She walked just about the entire track!

We took Gumby bowling for the second time, this time to a bowling alley that has these ball ramps that the ball can be placed on and toddlers can give them a shove to get them down the lane. Gumby enjoyed this. We explored a toy store that had wooden toys out to be played with, played in the mall play area, and went to the book store.

We brought home a 3' by 2' floor puzzle which is really neat and lots of fun.

At home we did molding with her model magic foam/clay, colored, read books, read her new purchased and library books and played with the nanobugs and iPad.

While reading, she started pointing at the words in the book and saying the letters. She knows most of the letters, lower and upper case. Chica Chica ABC has been a great book for showing lowercase letters in very large print and she likes to name them as they go up the coconut tree in the story.

Another new thing she has started doing is wanting to hold hands when we are out and about <3 And, wanting to walk from the parking lots to the store (holding hands required here of course!).

As the weather got colder, we spent less time outside! Gumby is not big on cold weather. She only likes to play outside in the cold occassionally. When we woke up to about 8 inches of snow, she wanted go to outside to see it, did not want to walk in it, and wanted to sled ride with Mamma ... once. That was it :)

When the temperatures get more around the mid 30's and higher though, she likes walking in the show paths that Deeda shovels for her and making "paw prints" <3

We are still thinking spring and took a little sneak peak at the sandbox and added a few snow sculptures to it :)

Gumby and I spend our days immersed in play. She is constantly learning what she wants, when she wants and how she wants without having to separate life experiences into subjects or play time versus learning time. It is all intermingled, inseparable and fun. We follow her interests wherever they lead and encourage her to explore her world. It is impossible to go through life, even one day, and not learn something - try it! All learning is valuable. Life is learning.

Wordless Wednesday: What a Difference a Few Days Can Make!

2011-02-23T05:23:00.000-08:00

Feb 18th, 2011 - high 60's, sunny, blue sky, beautiful spring teaser!!

Feb 22, 2011 - low 30's, 8 inches of snow, reminder that it is still winter!

How to Create a Ball Ramp

2011-02-17T04:00:00.000-08:00

A ball ramp is a fun, free, educational toy with staying power that you can create quickly and easily in your home. I was originally inspired by the idea for this from an issue of Mothering Magazine. I think it used empty paper towel and toilet paper rolls. I modified the idea to use empty cereal boxes. The sides of the boxes can be cut to create the ramps. On this second rendition of the ball ramp, I cut holes to let the balls fall from one ramp to the next. Previously, I opened a side of the ramp like the very top one and let the balls shoot into the next ramp. They are affixed to the door with sticky tack. We do not have a lot of wall space, but this is customizable and could be as large as you wanted to make it! Gumby loves this toy and plays with it often. She experiments with putting light balls, heavy balls (she learned that heavy balls will cause the ramps to fall off of the door), crayons and all sorts of different things down the ramp to see what works or what doesn't work.

Wordless Wednesday: Our Winter Visitors

2011-02-16T00:01:00.000-08:00

Gumby's World: 2/5/2011-2/11/2011

2011-02-11T21:42:00.000-08:00

The Gumby's World series is a journal of how we spend our days with Gumby :)

This past weekend, we went out and about with Gumby. We had lunch at our favorite fast food Italian restaraunt with a good friend. Gumby loves going out to eat. We take her puzzles, coloring supplies and the iPad. When we travel, we put her little potty on the back seat of the car. It works just fine for potty breaks on the go!

Gumby got a couple of new toys. One is a 18" tower with a funnel/spout that sand, water, rice and who knows what else can be poured into to make 2 wheels turn. This led way to a renewed interest in the rice box.

The other toy is a set of huge foam letters and numbers. It is also a puzzle. She has a lot of fun building, unbuilding, running, walking and romping on it. I will admit - it is a very fun activity for Mamma too :)

Gumby mailed the Valentine's Day cards that she made last week for her Grandparents. She was so excited. She wanted to watch the episode of Special Agent Oso where he also mails a letter to a little girls Grandmother. She really enjoys tieing shows into what she is actually doing.

We made two trips to the library to play on the computer and with the large bead toys. She is enjoying learning to use the mouse and is getting better at controlling it. There are coloring games, bubble popping games and puzzles. The puzzles need the most precise mouse control to select a piece then place it in the proper location. It is nice because no button clicks are neccessary.

We played on the iPad, Cover Orange, of course. She knows how to place pieces, which pieces roll, which ones do not roll, how to bump an Orange on one side and cause it to move, how to bump bombs and make them move pieces into place and more. Along with hand eye coordination, cause and effect and basic physics concepts, the game is also building her vocabulary and her confidence.

Gumby made several finger paintings this week. We displayed them in the living room and kitchen. The top one is done with brushes and sponges, with one hand print in the top left corner. The bottom one is a more rare one done with her fingers. She really loves using tools to paint; the ones where she puts her fingers and hands in it are always extra special.

She has a kid's table that has letters and numbers embossed along the edges that can be rubbed over with crayons to make the letters on the paper. She really enjoys this. She names off the letters as she sees them appear. Thanks to her Grammie and Grandpa for this table that used to be mine when I was little.

We had loads of fun with her Nano HexBugs that she got for Christmas. We built them a habitat out of blocks and gave them a paper towel roll tunnel. These are awesome toys and have staying power. They are always fun and there is always a new way to play and learn with them.

Wordless Wednesday: Little Angel, Big Bed

2011-02-09T04:58:00.000-08:00

Gumby's World: 1/29/2011-2/4/2011

2011-02-07T18:06:00.000-08:00

The Gumby's World series is a journal of how we spend our days with Gumby :)

This past week I re-organized Gumby's toy shelves by putting away things that she is not using and making what she does use (or would if she could easily get to it) more accessible. Gumby now has a new space for arts and crafts that is within her reach. It is still a little cluttered, but I hope to also be able to rotate some of the items to keep it new and interesting.

We also got a large plastic flower shaped plate to hold current projects and/or new items.

The rearranging resulted in a re-discovery of forgotten music items such as music shakers, piano and drums. We have been having fun making music and dancing! Putting her markers, crayons, glitter, window crayons, paper and coloring books where she can get to them has renewed her interest in art. This week we colored, drew - she is refining her own Mickey Mouse drawing - and created Valentine's Day cards for family members.

Gumby's Mee Mou (Mickey Mouse), drawn by herself

We read books, built jigsaw puzzles, played with her Potato Heads, buried each other and built with pillows, played ball with her huge 24" ball (she kept laughing if we would bounce it on her head), ran around the island ... all favorite actives of hers! She was also able to get to her rubber ducks easier so we sorted them into squeaking and non-squeaking kinds.

Gumby also loves cooking and has since she was 7-8 months old or so. She loves mixing, dumping, pouring and tasting. This past week she helped me to make veggie paella, home made spaghetti sauce, veggie enchiladas and cookies. This time, she noticed the ingredients on the box of cookies showed that we needed eggs and water.

Another new and exciting thing she did was correctly read a book out loud to herself. I know she probably has the story memorized and is describing the pictures, but it was both accurate, adorable and exciting!

The book Gumby read aloud to herself

Gumby loves having the TV on with either Mickey Mouse or Special Agent Oso, usually for company, background noise or ideas. Sometimes, I worry about having the TV on all of the time, but looking through this list of what we did last week, I guess we do things!

We definitely are not opposed to technology, Deeda and I both having degrees in Computer Science and we always partake in technology together. As such, Gumby is quite proficient at working our touch screen cell phones, Wii, and iPad. Her favorite thing to do on the phones is a sliding puzzle of Mickey and company. Who else? :) On the Wii, she likes to ski, race cars and shoot targets. Usually she watches myself or Deeda play, but sometimes will play herself. She does know how to take games out, put them back into the case, get a new game out of the case and load it into the Wii.

Skiing on Wii with Mamma

On the iPad, she enjoys cooking food and rearranging furniture in a restaurant, puzzles, drawing, coloring, hopping frogs or just about anything else. Lately, her favorite game is this physics strategy/puzzle game called Cover Orange.

Gumby Enjoying Cover Orange on the iPad with Deeda

Creating an Indoor Sandbox with Rice

2011-02-04T04:48:00.000-08:00

Come on in! The Rice is Fine!!! :)

Making and playing in a rice box is a fun way to spend a cold winter day, a rainy day or really.. any day! I have seen kids from one to four enjoy this activity for hours. Yes - hours. And, it is something that keeps interest time and time again.

All you have to do is get a container of any shape/size that you want, as much rice as you want and not worry about the mess. It vacuums or sweeps up fairly well. We also found putting a sheet down helps to curtail a lot of the mess. A couple words of caution: this can be slippery on hard or tiled floors and if you have any house kitties, you may want to make sure this is covered when left unattended. :)

We started out with the small rice box (approximately 9 lbs of cheap white rice) in the top right of the above picture and later upgraded to the larger size (12-15 lbs). Gumby liked having the multiple containers so we kept them. This is a wonderful open ended, sensory activity because it involves all five of the senses. In addition, pouring and transferring the rice improves balance and hand-eye coordination and introduces basic mathematical concepts such as full/empty, more/less and counting. Sometimes, it leads to us cooking a meal with rice. Gumby likes to pour the rice, sit and touch the rice, run her feet through it, put her animals and favorite characters in it, bury them in it, etc. The possibilities are limited only by your imagination.

Gumby loves arranging other toys in the rice.

It could also have variations, try oatmeal or beans for example for different textures. We added a bag of 16 different beans into the box below. Gumby enjoyed the large and small, yellow, green, blue, red, and white beans. She wanted to taste them (and she did), but I also bought another bag that we are going to put half into the rice box and cook the other half so she can *really* taste all the different beans and see how cooking the beans changes their texture (and taste!)

Have you made a rice box? What type of variations have you tried? What other 'things' are good for getting your hands diry and playing in?

Wordless Wednesday: Mallards, Muscovies and Geese... Oh My!

2011-02-02T06:38:00.000-08:00

Nighttime Potty Learning

2011-01-31T18:59:00.000-08:00

When Gumby started using the potty, it was 100% full time, just like a switch had been flipped; she was a potty machine. She had already been having lots of naked time and hating diapers, so we just dove into getting her underwear. But, we did wonder: what should we do at night?

I couldn't seem to find a lot of information out there for night time potty learning. I had noticed her overnight diapers were getting less and less wet; sometimes they would be dry.

The first day that she used the potty consistently, at bed time, we asked her if she wanted a diaper. She said no. We co-sleep and we have a mattress pad. So, I explained to her what I thought would happen. I told her if she had to potty, we'd wake up, sit on the potty, potty and then go back to bed. I told her if I noticed her pottying in her sleep, we'd wake up, sit on the potty, potty and then go back to bed. It seemed so simple. What surprised me was that her and I both could sleep right through those little accidents until it was too late.

For the first time, the other night, she had a full bladder and was uncomfortable, stirring and thrashing. I kept asking her if she needed to sit on the potty and finally, she said "yes"! We still have accidents, but we deal with them.

Here are a few things that we have found helpful on our nighttime potty learning adventure:

Patience and Trust

We will get there when we get there. :) We cannot control when Gumby uses the potty; we can only try to help her learn to recognize the feelings of needing to go and what to do. We need to trust that she will go when she needs to go.

Mattress pads and those little 'multi-use' waterproof baby pads

We keep the entire mattress under a fitted waterproof mattress pad. We also have a flat pad that is the size of the toddler bed that we keep on top of that, right where Gumby is most likely to lay. Sometimes, if we have an accident, the toddler bed sized pad catches it all and we don't have to change the full fitted mattress pad. The little "multi-use" water proof pads come in handy should an accident occur in the middle of the night. I, personally, have no desire to wake up the family and re-make the bed at some odd hour of the night. If a wet spot is found, it can be covered with the small pad so that we can sleep on a dry surface and deal with the mess in the morning.

Recognition that Nighttime Potty Learning is a Natural Milestone

As I mentioned, when we started this journey, I thought I could help Gumby learn to recognize needing to potty while sleeping and wake up. Ah, I still chuckle. And, I am still amazed that she can pee when she is literally sound asleep. Even if I did notice *and* could bring myself to wake my sleeping baby, she'd probably be done by then anyway. I have read forum posts of folks with kids her age that stay dry all night and some whose five year old kiddos are not dry at night. All kids are different and this is like walking; they will do it when they are ready to do it.

No Need to Night Wean
This ties in with the previous item. Gumby still nurse at night, quite a bit. Most nights she is dry regardless. Again, I have read forum posts of folks who have tried night weaning and the little ones still weren't dry all night. So, for us, why ruin a good thing? :)

Limit certain fluids 2-3 Hours Before Bed

The other night I wanted some hot tea. Gumby loves hot tea and she shared some also. But it was late, and then she went to bed. The rest of the tale won't surprise you, but we did learn that certain drinks such as hot tea and slushies probably should be cut off 2-3 hours before beddy time. We don't limit nursing, milk or water.

Nighttime Potty for Everyone

In one of my less than proud and gentle moments, I learned that it is true - you can sit them on the potty, by hook or by crook, but you cannot make them go. Even though it is so hard not to impose our will, try to force her to go because we think she has to, not to get upset if she doesn't go when we think she has to, we had to let go of trying to push the night time potty issue and just accept what would be. Sometimes, she pottys right before bed at 10pm and still has an accident. Some nights, her last potty was at 4pm and she refused to go and she'd be dry still! We decided to change what we could control (us) and not worry about what we cannot control (Gumby). So, the rest of the family has nighttime potty. We don't make a real big deal, but we each announce that we are having our nighttime potty. And, we put the dogs out for their nighttime potty too. Almost every time, it turns out Gumby also needs a nighttime potty.

So, some weeks I don't have to wash the bedding at all, other than the usual maintenance washing. Some weeks, I have to wash the bedding every other day. We could use diapers or pull ups and keep the bedding dry and clean. But, in our journey, we honestly feel that would hurt Gumby's sense of pride and accomplishment and that is far more important to us than the bedding.

What information, tips or things have you found useful in your nighttime potty learning adventures?

A "Happy" Childhood, A Successful Future and What Happens in Between.

2011-01-15T06:06:00.000-08:00

The Wall Street Journal recently published an article entitled "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior", with a sub caption of "Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music practice create happy kids?"

Before I read this, I wanted to make sure I knew the proper meaning of "happy", so I looked it up on the online dictionary.
Happy, by Meriam-Webster's definition means "characterized by well-being and contentment".

Okay, now that we know what "happy" means, let’s see if a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music practice creates happy kids. As I read the article, it seems that "happy" is being redefined by a model of success as the parent sees it - excelling in school, performing at recitals, being the best in the class, and other future goals. It is focused on preparing the children to become adults and does not focus on the enjoyment of the journey, the happiness of childhood. The children must meet the high expectations of their parents in subjects of the parents choosing, or be faced with being called "lazy", "garbage" or worse.

Where is the well-being and contentment?

There is an overarching message of negativity and distrust in the children:
"children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences."

When we first think of our children in this way, it affects the very way in which we respond to them. This basis sets up a relationship based on struggles, battles, competition, winning. Where is the compassion, the trust? If the parents do not trust the children, do the children trust the parents? Who can they trust?
Do they keep any feelings that will bring themselves or their family shame inside, afraid to express themselves, until they cannot handle the pressure anymore?
I have no doubt that these parents love their children as much as I love my own, but I worry that equating a person's value with conditions of success and not separating the person from their actions has detrimental consequences.
Asian Americans are more likely to commit suicide than blacks, whites, and Hispanics.
Over 60% of Cornell student suicides from 1996-2006 were Asian or Asian-Americans while only 14% of the total student body are self-identified Asian-Americans.

The article states "the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be 'the best' students, that 'academic achievement reflects successful parenting,' and that if children did not excel at school then there was 'a problem' and parents 'were not doing their job.'"

To me, it reads that the motivation for the child's success is the parents own fear of failure. The cycle seems to be self-perpetuating and blaming in all regards.

The online pole asking "Which style of parenting is best for children?" and giving the options of "Demanding Eastern Parenting" or "Permissive Western Parenting” implies that if one isn’t demanding obedience, coercing, spying, limiting activities, promoting competition over cooperation, then they are permissive, a word when coupled with parenting has obvious negative connotations. Where is the option for being respectful to others, teaching children this respect through modeling the behavior, communicating in a compassionate manor and cultivating a love of learning that comes from inside the individual? Where is the option for a parenting style that focuses on the child's destination to adulthood, trusting them enough to allow them to choose the paths they need to ensure current and future well-being and contentment?

21 Things I Learned from my Daughter

2011-01-13T17:23:00.000-08:00

1.) The meaning and feeling of unconditional love.

2.) Persistence. Have you ever truely watched a toddler ... struggling to learn to walk, they fall and fall, but never give up. So many things that we take for granted, they really have to work at; and work at it, they do. It's admirable.

3.) To express your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly. Even when we just arrive at a relative's house, she has no qualms about clearly stating "I need go home."

4.) How to make the most comfy beds with pillows and blankets abound.

5.) Time goes so fast. Stop to smell the flowers.

Gumby around 22 mo old enjoying clovers in the yard

6.) Live in the moment.

7.) The joy of laughing at nothing.

8.) Patience

9.) Anything can be an adventure, if you let it.

10.) Nothing is gross when its your baby.

11.) To be confident in myself and my beliefs.

12.) To trust my instincts.
13.) The importance of modeling behavior and being the change that you want to see.
14.) That my dream in life is being a mother.
15.) Anything is an art canvas and anything is paint.

Gumby around 16 mo old with Hershey's Syrup :)

16.) Simplify. Simplify. Simplify. Cribs, strollers, walkers, high chairs, play pens, baby food, etc are not necessities.

17.) The importance of not just hearing, but truely listening.
18.) Nursing babies are not going to bite mom just because they get teeth. In fact, it is physically impossible for one to nurse and bite at the same time.
19.) Even grocery shopping at the store you loathe can be fun.

20.) If you can change something, change it. If you cannot change something, change your expectations instead.

21.) The house, the laundry, the dishes and anything else can wait, but your baby, family and friends cannot.

Deeda, Gumby, Grammie and Grandpa as Gumby masters walking by pushing her play stroller.

Thank you Gumby ... :)

What have you learned from your children?

Wordless Wednesday: Covered with Love

2011-01-12T05:35:00.000-08:00

She Can Reach the Washing Machine!

2011-01-10T17:05:00.000-08:00

Really ... and it's a top loader! A toddler's persistence is admirable!

Gumby is just growing so quickly and the little things are always amazing. Gumby enjoys helping to do laundry ... handing me clothes from the hamper as I put them into the washer, taking them from me and putting them into the dryer from the washer, and of course playing in the huge pile of clean clothes as we put them away. I was just astonished today to see her putting the clothes into the washer "all by myself!"

She even requested to be held up so she could press the buttons and turn it on. :)

Wordless Wednesday: Yellow Volcanos!

2011-01-05T15:24:00.000-08:00

1, 2 O's

2011-01-03T16:15:00.000-08:00

Gumby decided she wanted to go to the mall last week. We always have such a great time at the mall, but her favorite place may not be what you expect. We are lucky that our particular mall has an indoor children’s play area with large rubbery toys to climb and play on. Gumby likes to jump out of the huge butterfly into my arms. She also likes looking at the different items, decorations, mirrors … one can find all sorts of things at the mall. One day we bought her a bamboo with yellow water beads. Every time we walk past the bamboo stand, she reminds me that she “has yelly at home.” Today, she enjoyed counting the letters that made up the names of the different stores. Bonworth has “1, 2 O’s.” and “just 1 B.”

Today, Gumby jumped off the large butterfly a few times, and then it was time to hit the highlight of the mall: “I need go bookstore!” Yes, Gumby’s favorite thing to do at the mall is to go to the bookstore, in the back where she knows the children’s books are located. We read together. She has a few favorites, some seasonal, others not. She enjoys “Goodnight Gorilla” and “The Hungry Caterpillar”. Today we found a cool pop-up book where she could pull tabs, match up patterns and count.

Learning is always taking place; sometimes you are not even aware that it is. Other times, if one stops to think about it, one may realize that the trip to the mall covered physical education, math, reading and science just to name a few.

Wordless Wednesday: Face Coloring!

2010-12-29T06:42:00.000-08:00

Who, What, Where, When and Why?

2010-12-23T14:54:00.000-08:00

Lately, Gumby has been into solving jigsaw puzzles - constantly! It is her absolute favorite pastime and she does it for the majority of the day: sometimes alone, sometimes with me or Deeda, sometimes using little wooden puzzles (new or the ones that I used to build that my mother saved and gave to her) and sometimes on the iPad. This is the 21st century, right! :) If she is not honing her problem solving, critical thinking or shape recognition skills, one may find her in an imaginative game of make believe with her favorite characters from the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Perhaps she is burying them in her rice box, meticulously lining them up like a choo choo train or tucking them neatly into bed as she names them and describes what color blanket she is using to cover them. In any case, she is learning.

She is following her interests, learning at her own pace and learning about what is interesting and important to her. Anyone who has young children will say how amazing it is to watch them learn new things; and, it is. They are always learning something new. They are so curious by nature. Our family journey with Gumby has been deeply rooted in following our instincts of trusting Gumby to communicate her needs to us. Unschooling is a continuation of that journey.

Unschooling is an approach to homeschooling that follows the way people naturally learn, just as described in the first paragraph. Unschooling holds that learning cannot be separated from life, it is always happening and it is always useful. Learning need not be broken up into "subjects" because in life, all subjects are intertwined. People gain more true knowledge when they are learning about something they are truly interested in and can explore in the way that best suits them. Everyone has their own unique style of learning such as reading books, going places, hands on, etc.

As Gumby's parents, our role will be to facilitate, support and trust in Gumby. We will trust that as she follows her interests, she will learn what she needs when she needs it. We will provide her with interesting options, activities and choices along the way. We will be available to help her by answering her questions honestly and openly or helping her to find answers - when she asks for our help.

This is what I have learned on my unschooling journey thus far. With breastfeeding, I could never measure in ounces how much milk Gumby had. I trusted that she knew when she was hungry and when she was full. As she was ready to start solid foods, after six months of age, we let her eat table food and feed herself. Again, I could not quantify how much of this or that she was eating, but instead trusted that she knew what she needed. Unschooling, to me, seems similar in that I may not be able to quantify in "subjects" what Gumby is learning, but I have trusted her this far along the way and it has worked out amazingly.

I started this blog as a way of journaling what is learned, by Gumby and by myself. Why? Well, perhaps the same reason as when I started nursing my little precious newborn that I kept track of "how long" and "how often" she nursed. It can be hard to let go of quantifying sometimes. I started it because I may need some record of what she is learning for state schooling requirement purposes. And, I started it to share our experiences. I think it will be fun :)

That sums it up for my first ever blog entry. What did you like? What didn't you like? And, what else can I write about? I have my own ideas, but look forward to suggestions :)

For tons of unschooling information, visit www.sandradodd.com